love for who and what you are

What did you wish you have done differently during the race?

this is one of the questions i crafted for the contestants in a reality show, and it keeps me ponder that what are the things in my life that i could have done differently.

but life is, sometimes you get a second chance to right the wrongs. however, most of the time, you have to lose something and finally realised that you could have done it another way for a much plausible and bearable result. or maybe if things happen the other way, you will feel so much better.

so, are there any incidents in my life that i wish it never happened or things i did in the past that i want to take it back. i supposed my answer will be a no but yes.

i think i have once trying to be wise, mentioned that there are no random acts and accidents. things happened for its own reason, whether it has been rooted for the longest time and blown up out of the smallest and pettiest thing ever, or for the reason people just choose to ignore the cause until crisis escalates.

the old me would have said, why didn't people realise their faults at the early stage and immediately rectify what's wrong, then a lot of things would have been different - tears will not be shed, we will not lose the people we loved, or purest connection between human being will not be sabotaged that easily. after all, there's only a small distance between being taken and missed for any live changing experience.

now, i would say, am grateful for the things that happened, let it be good or bad, happy or heart wrenching. i will not want to change a single bit of my history for a different result. i appreciate the little things that break things apart, i accept all the accidents that come along and i took heartbroken incidents wholeheartedly.

for i know that these are the things i'd have to learn along the way to become a better person, with whole lots of patience and respect for the free will, more control on my temper and also try to take things slow and go with the flow.

having said that i have no regrets of whatever that happened, however, am truly sorry for saying all the awful words that hurt and burned the friends and family i love. no words will be suffice to convey how guilty i can be, and i know at the similiar extent, no words can describe the grief and disappointment they felt about me.i am never proud of the wrong things i said and this is the only thing i wish i can take back.

glad i finally figured out on how i could take life easier. :D 

last but not least, i will always love the people i care for who and what they are.