yeap, trying to be zen after been working crazily crazy for 3 months straight.

happy holidays and party hard everyone.

be truly happy.

just pathetic

i wonder if he knows that he hogged the cover page of almost every chinese papers.

how stupid and pathetic can it be, seriously. this guy killed himself for a 4-month old relationship.

and the most ironic part is that some brave girl struggled her life to fight blood cancer, yet the news wasn't even at the first couple of pages.

the layout of news just made people think that " hey there's no biggies killing themselves, this is just another casanova committing suicide."

news are just fucking pathetic and am working in this line.

无言

战争又再爆发， 这次的我没有避风港，看着枪弹都已经杀到前方了，还是默默地站在原地让阵阵的炮弹来伤害你。

原来是真的，不论你逃得多远，只要你还是在意，就算多么不愿意，还是逃不掉的。我还曾经一度以为真的以为已经远远的逃离了。

不论你如何绞尽了办法，事情还是不可以两全其美。吞下了苦水，最后还是埋没了自己定下的规矩。

我很不甘心。其实我真的真的很不甘心。

有骨气又如何， 有尊严又如何？

又能怎样？

if this has to be done

i don't feel good barking at people and i don't like to corner them, if you ask me.

its not like i don't see you are struggling to get things done.

i acknowledged your effort, it is just not good enough.

i won't say sorry because the i am still right.

sigh.

WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY?

WHY AM I WORKING ON A PUBLIC HOLIDAY?
WHY AM I REPLYING EMAILS AND ANSWERING CLIENTS' CALLS ON A PUBLIC HOLIDAY?

WHY MY SALARY REMAINS THE SAME EVEN AFTER PETROL PRICE WAS UP FOR UPTENTH TIMES IN COUPLE OF MONTHS?

PWROAR!! 

WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY?

happy song!

so that some of you wouldn't blame me for making you sad. =(

no lah, i just want everyone to be happy.

this is a happy song!

something i forgot for the longest time

the rule of thumb of a good relationship is:-

fight like a married couple
talk like best friends
flirt like first love
protect each other like brothers and sisters

at one point i almost forgot that argument is one of the essentials. thought it will be detrimental to a relationship, so i avoided it, carefully and deliberately.

no, it is not. so not.

it freaks me out, really

i listened to her very carefully, at the same time, reading her facial expression.

she was complaining that guys are selfish bunch. they never really care about how their words and actions could hurt others. she went on and on and on and on and on, and on and on an on and on and on and on and on and on.. UNTIL she said:"

i miss my ex so much that you know what i will do? i login into his emails and social network accounts to stalk him. sometimes i used his email to write emails to myself and he doesn't know about it.

while she was saying this, her facial muscle twitched. it was as if stalking her ex is her greatest hobby, and she freaking enjoys it.

it just freaks me out really. for once, i can at least say that i am pretty normal as compared to some of the crazy individuals. am just lucky she is not my ex.

brrrr.. no more no more

i collected my not-so-proud badges in one night.

it felt god damn good but i seriously doubt that i'd do it again.

obliviate

selfish people live happier don't they?

obliviate.

it takes so long for me to understand

yeap, for once i've actually acknowledged that i am emo.

it takes so long for me to understand that as much as i never give up on people, they gave me up easily. it feels fucking awful to know people i love or care about do not share the same beliefs like i do. 

yes, i can be god damn stubborn and optimistic at times, but i always know that if we hope enough and never give up, we'll find a way out. the journey can be rough and tough, but as long as there's a tiny glimmer of hope, why let go of someone you always love, believe and trust.

or may be am wrong or i've always trusted the wrong person. that is why they always gave me up easily.

times like this i hate myself because i never wanted to admit i made the wrong choice in believing someone.

i am hopeless

pwroarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr... i am so so so so so angry at myself chickening out at the very last minute. how can i possibly do that, it is like i have lost quarter of my guts when the quarter life crisis hits me.

i feel like banging my head to the wall after realising what i'd actually missed, but that wasn't enough. i really want to scar my face so that it can serve as a reminder of how retarded am i when i look in the mirror.

pwroarrrrrrrr!

i do

yeap, i do and i still very much do.

do you?

i wish you love

i felt downright terrible. it was so awful to know i am partially responsible for those tears you shed.

i wished i'd find the right comforting words, or at least brushed it off casually - it's no biggies, really, you learn some, lose some and earn some then move on. but who am i to assure you that it could be easy, why say every day is a new start when, some spend days or years just to ease the pain or carefully avoiding it. we will at least be happy as long as memories and secrets are well kept in the closet. we can pretend to ignore it even if emotional distresses are bursting at the seams.

or we believe we'll forget things eventually.

while still trying my very best to sooth those tears, my thoughts were taken away by fractions of memories  - the stroll along the riverside where stars were bright, and the incident i was fascinated seeing puffs of frozen breathe in the cold air.

i love those memories and every bit of it. no one can possibly take those away from me, and i guessed that's how you cherish your memories too. no words will be appropriate to ease the ache of your heart.

it is not because i am lack of vocab, i just can't take away the memories and feelings you took years to build with just one or two simple words. it is not fair to you.

one day, perhaps one day, you'll find your way out. you'll not walk out from it, you'll learn to love them and take them with you whenever you go.

therefore, i wish you love.

ah lian kicks in again - part 2

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA...

i just couldn't hold myself from laughing. AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH...

his face expression in the MV damn serious and intense weh..

BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH.....

i am 52, maybe

oldies are really nicer than the recent ones. They are still the best in my book.

age must be really catching up, in fact i think i am 52 instead of 25.



may be not that old, but the lyrics are so well written aye.

永远成了在云端跳舞的天使

可惜，真的很可惜。

不应该那么早放弃吧。再多一点点坚持，真的是可能， 可以的。

有些话，说出来的时候真的太迟了。

pwroar! bad friends, bad bad friends!

you, you, you and you!

yeah, you know i am talking about you! you, you,and you stood me up for belly dance classes!

pwroarrrrrrr...don't like that la, you don't have to wear sexy to do belly dance, plus plus plus it is a very very very very good exercise to shake your butt to tone your muscles. nothing obscene about this dance.

don't like that la! come la come la.

the little fox said it is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye

play this clip, it'll put you into the right mood for the following entry. this song is just so beautiful ,and the rhythm depicts the exact words i'd possible use to describe the pictures.

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the little prince went back to say goodbye to the little fox.

"goodbye" said the fox,"and now here's my secret, a very simple secret: it is only with the heart that one can see rightly, what is essential is invisible to the eye."

the little prince repeated so many times, that he'll remember this for the rest of his life.

(the little prince)

cat versus mouse!

schop schop schop chop chop...
rata ta ta ta ta ta ta...
rocket.. explode!


this is like how i used to play with myself when i was very young, with all the sound effects and explosion. it was barbie versus heman back then.

needs some presto magic

it is that time again your's truly me got lazy again.

music and youtube time!

wooot!



i can use some presto magic now.

sigh, monday again. work is just work. tomorrow will always be better.

bang bang bang!

our whole universe was in a hot dense state
then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started. Wait!
the Earth began to cool,
the autotrophs began to drool,
neanderthals developed tools,
we built a wall, we built the pyramids,
maths, science, history, unraveling the mysteries,
that all started with a big bang! bang!

can't believe am up so early running, and watching a bunch of nerdy geeks making sitcoms.

the funny part is am enjoying it.big bang theory officially replaces gregory house. i wonder how on earth the scriptwriters can come with the geekiest lines. they are just plain geniuses.

i am easy peasy lemon squeezy!

i am a simple person.

it is not easy to understand me, but you definitely don't have to go high and low just to make me happy.

little things as simple as an ice-cream is suffice to make me smile again.or, if am really bogged down, you'll just need to tell me everything will be alright.

assurance is the right word i believe, unfortunately not a lot of people get it.

since the majorities think that am difficult, i shall raise my standards.next time you peeps want to make me happy, it is going to be god damn duper duper bloody freaking difficult.

only agedashi taufu can make me happy now. i want agedashi taufu and assurance!

pwroar!

shhh... i am going to tell you something

morning world, today i want to share with you some secret ingredients to happiness.

promise you are not going to tell any body.

the recipe to happiness is...

you'll need one scoop of chocolate ice-cream and another scoop of rum raisin ice-cream.
mix them with some m&ms and small chunks of chocolate fudge cake.
smash and blend the ice-creams and mix-ins together.

these ingredients always put a smile on my face; i hope they do the same magic to you too.

happy trying.

梦见了小小的冰雹

昨天我梦见了天空下起了小小的冰粒。

嗒 嗒 嗒 嗒 嗒 嗒

细小的冰粒轻轻地 打在玻璃门上, 像是在敲着门要进来屋子里面。

我推开了门，细细的冰粒飘了进来落在地板上。

轻轻地, 我拾起小小的冰雹，把它们收集在手心里。

晶莹剔透地， 很漂亮，像小小颗的钻石。

:D

love for who and what you are

What did you wish you have done differently during the race?

this is one of the questions i crafted for the contestants in a reality show, and it keeps me ponder that what are the things in my life that i could have done differently.

but life is, sometimes you get a second chance to right the wrongs. however, most of the time, you have to lose something and finally realised that you could have done it another way for a much plausible and bearable result. or maybe if things happen the other way, you will feel so much better.

so, are there any incidents in my life that i wish it never happened or things i did in the past that i want to take it back. i supposed my answer will be a no but yes.

i think i have once trying to be wise, mentioned that there are no random acts and accidents. things happened for its own reason, whether it has been rooted for the longest time and blown up out of the smallest and pettiest thing ever, or for the reason people just choose to ignore the cause until crisis escalates.

the old me would have said, why didn't people realise their faults at the early stage and immediately rectify what's wrong, then a lot of things would have been different - tears will not be shed, we will not lose the people we loved, or purest connection between human being will not be sabotaged that easily. after all, there's only a small distance between being taken and missed for any live changing experience.

now, i would say, am grateful for the things that happened, let it be good or bad, happy or heart wrenching. i will not want to change a single bit of my history for a different result. i appreciate the little things that break things apart, i accept all the accidents that come along and i took heartbroken incidents wholeheartedly.

for i know that these are the things i'd have to learn along the way to become a better person, with whole lots of patience and respect for the free will, more control on my temper and also try to take things slow and go with the flow.

having said that i have no regrets of whatever that happened, however, am truly sorry for saying all the awful words that hurt and burned the friends and family i love. no words will be suffice to convey how guilty i can be, and i know at the similiar extent, no words can describe the grief and disappointment they felt about me.i am never proud of the wrong things i said and this is the only thing i wish i can take back.

glad i finally figured out on how i could take life easier. :D 

last but not least, i will always love the people i care for who and what they are.

take a bite of my heart!

some of you were complaining that i am a super duper slacker and only fill my entries with youtube clips. but hey, these clips are the songs got stuck in my head the moment i woke up.

and sharing is caring! am only sharing these with you because i am so full of myself and i want all of you to know i have great taste in music i want to share the best music with everyone else.

now now, stop complaining and take as it is.

sometimes the ah lian-ness in me kicks in

this song is in my head the moment i woke up.



it must be the moment of the year when the ah-lian-ness in me kicks in.

我的心痛痛痛进心里！我打电话去问你！

hello world!

morning world. :D

start your day with this song, it is just so so cute.

slowly but surely

it is difficult but possible, because it feels so right.

i always know that if we dream big enough and carry on with what we believe, things will not stray far. step by step, bit by bit, we slowly fix ourselves to become a better person and wala we are just one step closer to what we aim to be.

of course, we must not forget to add in doses of patience and forgiveness.

things will gradually work its way out by itself, slowly but surely.

performing rituals to wade you off!

i used to label them with numbers, in accordance with their age.

now everyone of them look like food to me. first chee cheong fan, now chocolate mud pie.

your moves are downright disgusting. blehhhh...



but this little boy here rubs me the right way.

awww...he sings song with his guitar. nom nom nom...

overdose of sexcitement!

Japanese High School Student Died from Masturbation

A male high school student from Miyazaki Prefecture was found dead in his room wearing nothing on his lower body. Miyazaki hospital found that a large amount of semen was secreted from the testes, and when the brain experienced intense excitement, his body went into cardiopulmonary arrest.
Upon dissection, investigators found that the boy had masturbated a few dozens of times in the day and overproduction of sex hormones caused sudden death.

So if you don't want to die an embarrassing death:

- Don't masturbate after heavy drinking or in public (to increase excitement). Increased blood pressure can cause brain haemorrhages or heart and breathing problems.

- Be careful when using toys etc. Some people tie themselves up and suffocate. Subarachnoid hemorrhage can result in women when too many objects are put inside the vagina.

- Don't hold back orgasm. This places a lot of pressure on the heart as it needs to pump a lot of blood for extended periods to sustain the erection.

- Don't masturbate in intense situation like on the floor. This places a lot of pressure on the body.

http://matsuri.net46.net/weblog/blog1.php/2010/09/20/japanese-high-school-student-dies-from-too-much-masturbation

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hwei!: is this a spam?
OneStrangeGirl: not spam
OneStrangeGirl: lolol
hwei!: but how possibly can someone else die from masturbation?
OneStrangeGirl: good question!!
OneStrangeGirl: overdose of orgasm?
hwei!: that explains, people need a balance dose of excitement and sadness in life.
hwei!: else you will die of orgasm.
OneStrangeGirl: LOL
OneStrangeGirl: yeahhhh!
hwei! and don't hold back when there's an orgasm.

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i don't know how true this news can be, but well, this dude was died of an accidental excitement overdose. how many people in this world died being contented? this guy is one lucky fella.

one big unicorn

one big unicorn, strong and free,
thought he was happy as he could be.
then, three little kittens came around,
and turned his whole life upside down.
they made him laugh, they made him cry,
he never should have said goodbye.
and now he knows he can never part,
from those three little kittens that changed his heart.

despicable me

when nothing is actually great

you chee cheong fan!

stay FAR FAR FAR FAR FAR FAR FAR FAR FAR away from me! don't do things like you want to meet my parents on the first date.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, you look like a fucking chee cheong fan!

oh you stupid nose!

i got to do something to fix my nose. it keeps giving me mucus, headaches, flu, fever, sore throat, nose shit wtf, and i can't barely breathe! alright, i am blaming my nose for everything else.

i really need to do something to fix my nose. i don't want to talk to some company's CEO with tons of and tons of disgusting fluid flowing down from my nose.

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updates

the oh-never-ever-exactly-when-it-is-going-to-end flows of mucus is now literally dripping through my nostril, actually come to think about it, i'd rather have runny nose than a stuffed one just so i could breathe when am sleeping. people will never realised and appreciate how blissful they are to be able to breathe through their nose, when it is a natural mechanism.

i am foreseeing two situations will happen tomorrow:-

situation (a) stuffed nose
where i can barely pronounce my words properly when am advising my client what are the set of anticipated questions that media will ask.
" how had the 250 mbillion plan in pasir gudnang help in Malaysia's latex nnnd rubber imdustry?


situation (b) runny nose
where tissue is my hand's best friend just so i can instantly wipe off excessive amount of disgusting mucus raging through my nostrils.

either ways, am damn doom. sneeze! fuck my life.

手链

当金手链不见的那一刻，我已经知道这一天将会到来。


可是它也带给我很多快乐与喜悦，太多太多了。


怎么可能到最后让它腐化，绞碎，然后不当一回事呢。


不可以好像小孩一样了。要长大了，虽然多么希望有一天它会神奇的出现。


我，接受了。带走的是满满快乐的片段。


我现在只希望你开心。 :)

thought it'd be much greater

it is such a shame that days ago i felt like i have been thrown from 30th floor and now am flying high again.

thought it'd be much greater than just days.

i think i just need to crash, a lot and a lot of sleep after running like a headless chicken for a gruesome week. will definitely do that after tonight's FHM party.

panic! attacked

i always thought that i am a relatively calm person regardless of whatever shit happens. alright, maybe i'll be frantic for a couple of minutes, then you'll be seeing me pulling a stone face and talk in a deeper tone, trying to solve the problem. let it be incidents when i should have shit in my pants such as  - mugged by two people when i was walking alone on the streets or tailed and cornered by a road bully a family of road bullies for 20 minutes. never once, you will see me panic without knowing what's my next step.

but heck, this month i was attacked by panic not just once but twice. 

the first incident took place in early september. that day started all nice and dandy with me shopping happily alone. suddenly, some funny feelling nudged me to check for my driving license and true enough it wasn't there even if i had searched through my purse and handbag up and down, left and right, inside and out. it was that moment, the first wave of fear hit me. i took out all my cards and thousands of receipts from my purse, hoped that my license will miraculously appear. of course, it didn't. 

then the second wave of panic took its toll. i tried to walk to my car with tremble legs while the brain was frantically working on clues and cues where i'd have possibly misplaced or dropped my license - could it be in my room or did i left it at some publication houses when i did my media visits the previous day before? hastily i drove out of the shopping mall with cluttered and disturbed thoughts, thinking i'd need to take a half day leave and drive all the way down town to re-do my license, and oh crap there goes my half day where i have three thousand things to do for next week. or man, i can't take leave because i have couple of media interviews and launches to attend. oh fuck, what about my license then!

before i can focus on where i was heading to, driving super fast, i was that close, literally few inches away from bumping into a car right in front of me. without a second thought i hit the break and turned my steering to the left. my car swayed aside with great motion and all i heard was a high pitch shriek let out by my tyres. i stopped at the middle of the road with my heart racing 100 km/j, thinking i'd have easily got into an accident if there were any cars at my left lane.

slowly i pulled my car aside. that instance, an episode of anxiety clouded me - drops of cold sweat trickled down my face, my hands and foot were shaking, i nearly choked on my own breathe and my heart palpitated, coupled with a dizzy sensation. my mind just went completely blank! i took a good 15 minutes to collect myself, making mental notes that i mustn't drive more than 60km/j for the next couple of hours.

that night, i ran to two different locations to look for my license then i gave up and went to file for a police report. that night, i not only lost my license and maybe nearly my life, but also something that holds dearly in my heart. the next couple of days i found my license in my office but the thing i cherish the most is forever gone.

the second panic attack happened today. after i gave a great 5 minutes lecture to my intern, my mind went blank for 20 minutes then the same series of intense fear overwhelmed me. the matter that triggered today's attack wasn't as great as what happened last two weeks, but it stoned me for quite some time before i resume my daily grinds. 

two times of panic attack already made me feel like i had the ride of a lifetime; i probably will not survive if third time happens. 

拾回来了吗？

心明明已经又酸又痛，还拼命对自己说：“不用紧的，东西要点清，一定要分明。”

一样一样清点，慢慢一一拾起放进了大大行李箱，重重的将行李箱盖子合上，再上锁。

心可以这样子拾回来吗？

那黑色皮革的记事本

“不好意思，不好意思麻烦你爱上了我。”


她细细记住了当时的情景和他那时候傻傻的脸孔。特意把那句、或许他自己也忘了自己讲过的话，记录在本黑色皮革的记事本里。那句话是第一面的第一行字。

像木头一样的他并不常哄人，语录慢慢地变成一本记载着开心点点滴滴的小本子，因为这些都是值得记住一辈子的珍宝。

喜欢他抱着我入睡然后听着他打鼻鼾入睡的声音。
喜欢和他一起吃大鱼元！
喜欢看他下厨扮演导师一一讲解应该怎样煮菜。
超爱吃他煮的羊扒，马铃薯泥和 pancakes!


当距离考验着爱情时, 当遇到两人值得雀跃时，当吵架伤心不能入睡时，都能慢慢翻阅曾经一起度过虽平凡且容易忽略的快乐。所有刺人伤心的话都会随着这些平凡的幸福一一的瓦解，都可以包容。毕竟两人之间的相处应储包容，加上很多很多的谅解。

难道几小时的斗争、几句伤人的话都不敌一直以来那些开心点点滴滴？值得为了因为目前不能解决的问题而放弃一直以来坚守的信念吗？快乐的日子不是多于气馁的时刻吗？

黑色皮革的记事本说不容易；翻阅我吧，让你绝对有足够理由走下去。

她有有多久不敢再翻开页数细细记载一些微细和容易忽略的傻傻事件呢？是否是时间把它归还回原本属于它的主人了呢？

累了。真的很累了。

#2

AGEDASHI TOFU! with crisps of dried seaweed.

#1

豆奶

the great Hawaii Five-O!

I can't get Hawaii Five-O's theme song out of my head now!



du du du du!

树与人的故事

人与树遇上了。

树木木的，从来不花俏，忠忠实实，外表沉闷，脚踏实地。人也没要求多，默默地守着，慢慢的施肥，静静地等待，常不厌倦地想出有趣又不曾做过的东西惹树笑，目的是要看到树苦又纳闷的脸一个简单的笑容。

但是有些日子人常会遇到不如意的事，有些时候转牛角尖的性格会很刁钻，说话不全面，甚至会不小心伤害身边的人，但每回都不放在心上， 因为人认为树就有如家人一样，了解这是无心之错，也希望树明白人虽人似开朗但常需要鼓励及肯定。

但树及人每回被伤害总是憋在心里。每当事发总不能解决，最终还是不了了之。

故事完毕。

又能怎样？

心真的会很痛很痛。

好像给刀狠狠刺了一刀。

可是又能怎样？

home is where the cam whore is..

i have not seen doggie thingamajiky for a couple of months and she has become more and more cam whorish!

Most of the time when she sees there's a camera on someone's hand, she'll walk towards the lens is pointing at.  

cam whore take 1



cam whore take 2



trying to squeeze a sad face with watery eyes



mom and cam whore posing.



oh! am in the limelight again!




caption is shit!




whore's ass



oh! i am in the picture again! i need to be in every photo.



it is my face that is important!


it is nice and fun to be home. i need to come back more often.

expectation versus reality #1

slowly making a list of my great expectations and another list of realities, i without any choice have to succumb to.

never, never ever depend on others to fulfill your expectation, because you'll be most probably be disappointed.

expectation #1

i'd sometimes like to find little surprises in my mailbox.

reality #1

it is not going to happen anymore. things that are very close to surprises are letters from the government hounding me to pay my education loan.  

betrayal

hate it.

but it reminds you of how bad you are at judging people; just when you thought you found someone you can trust.

oh well, maybe i've been meeting all the bad apples

singapore is amazing - clean roads, no traffic jam at any hour, courteous drivers, great shopping malls and the most interesting part is their people.

they . are . just . beyond . amazing .

i've been blown away by at least four harsh and rude singaporeans in less than two days - two old ones and two young people, just when you thought younger generation has better upbringing. i am guessing either their facial muscles are way too stiff, or i don't look Caucasian enough to be entitled with the privilege of respect, or they just had an unglamorously bitter day before i meet them.

bumping into all the bad apples in such a short time is definitely a track record, i must say. try to beat me if you can.

singapore, i am at

don't laugh. this is my first time to singapore, so don't laugh at me.

am going to the zoo!!!!

will be travelling back to malaysia this wednesday.

our petty little things

editting photos i took in sydney makes me emo.



again, caption is not necessary

fruits should be eaten fresh. eating mangosteen in syrup is already plain wrong, buying a canned mangosteen in syrup is just nonsense. we bought it anyway.

i miss shopping at the asian grocery. i miss running errands with you.

sigh

it . has . been . a . long . long . time  . since . i . felt . this . way .

i . don't . feel . like . working .

just photo

uploading it because i feel like it!


caption is shit!


if you asked me whether do i like this drink, i'd say i like the colour. you pretty much figure out how it taste like.

i will do it whenever i feel like

if i need forever to edit my photos i took in sydney.

i'd need 10 thousand years to edit just one photo.

and this is the one i took 10 thousand years to edit it.


caption is lame!

don't rush me. i still have a long way to go.

real life example of a (full in the blanks for me, will ya?)

gossiping is stupid; the people gossip behind have puny brains, literally.

today, MissHelpfulButNotSmart from different department messaged me in the msn.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

MissHelpfulButNotSmart: hey

Me: yeap. what can i help you? (i thought msn is strictly prohibited in your department! wtf)

MissHelpfulButNotSmart: make sure your boss can't see this. is there a way i can add you back in the facebook without people knowing i added you?

Me: you deleted me? am not really sure, will let you know if I ever know.

MissHelpfulButNotSmart: too many dramas happened in my unit, that is why i deleted you. now i want to add you back but i do not want our colleagues to know i've added you. (great big deal)

Me: i don't really know. i'll let you know if i ever know the way. (wtf)

MissHelpfulButNotSmart: QueenBee asked me not to be stupid enough to trust you..(omitted 100 words). i am so sad at the same time scared.. (omitted 50 words) is there a way i can add you back?

Me: actually you know what, it is either you add me or you don't. no big deal about it.

MissHelpfulButNotSmart: bla bla bla.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

seriously, do i look like i give any flying kites to any of the gossips fluttering in the office. not like you gossipers are paying my salary. piss off! if you are not bright enough to make one simple no brainer decision and making it a great big deal, i think you are living a very pitiful life for already a quarter of a century.

anyone care to enlighten me that...

why the fuck most of the people i know are getting married at 25, seriously?

she kept me in sanity

she said if am so afraid of losing things and never thought of giving,

I can never be happy.

fucking annoying

every day, every single minute revolves at the same topic.

like there's nothing better to talk about than a device.

today i learned that...

some sexually frustrated bitches have fucking huge mouths that can fit 3 watermelons.

11 days more!

11 DAYS. 11 DAYS. 11 DAYS. 11 DAYS.
CHOCOLATE SCONES, COLD ROCKS ICE CREAM, CHA SOBA, UNAGI FRIED RICE, PORK MEAT BALLS, PAN CAKES, LAMB CHOP, MASH POTATOES, GRAIN WAVES, AND CORDIAL!
11 DAYS. 11 DAYS. 11 DAYS. 11 DAYS

15 days more!

15DAYS 15DAYS 15DAYS 15DAYS.
I DON'T EVEN FEEL LIKE WORKING ANYMORE.
15DAYS 15DAYS 15DAYS 15DAYS.

just the way you always want to be

i still remember our conversation happened at that apartment we rented; i was lying on that filthy couch listening to your dream and how you have sketched your life plans two years after we graduated.

it was the simplest dream i ever heard of. It may be plain and unchallenged but she doesn't need to go through the rollercoaster of life to finally realise what she really wants. 

i secretly wished that i can have the dream like her's. holding my loved one till the endest bit of my life.we all thought we can. at least i nearly think i could.

if i ever can be as simple as her. keeping life uncomplicated as it should be.things could have been different. way different. but i am not her, because being simple is the best of her. that is why she deserves to have what she wants in life.

i wish you happy marriage that stands the test of time.

and you will.

you are so screwed already

evil thoughts are yearning to crawl out. One day, all hell shall break loose.

just got to stop before shit hits the fan.

cocoon of lies and deception

"you now may find being the third party in one's relationship is ridiculous, but when you reach my age, you'll understand and embrace this. men are just selfish creature and us women simply have too much empathy and love not to fall for the trap."

i shall pen this quote down. i hope when i hit 35, i wouldn't have to find the most absurd excuse to explain myself when i have conducted a sin.

i hope you find peace living in a cocoon of lies and deception spun by yourself.

bull shit.

i can't help

before you continue reading, i'll have to explain that i am not being bitter nor jealous. usually, i would refrain myself from commenting on one's physical appearance, as how a creature person could look like is the purest gift from his / her biological mother, god and mother nature.

i am sorry if i've accidentally sore your feelings and wounds. i hope you do understand that the following statement is only directed to one person, and only that particular individual could fit the bill.

if you are feeling uncomfortable already, please move your cursor to the little x situated on top of your right side computer screen and click it.

before i swamp you with my words, i couldn't thank you enough for your understanding and thoughtfulness.

THE LAST I CHECKED YOU ARE STILL ULTIMATELY BITTER, AND POSSESS TOO  MUCH OF SELF-LOVE AND VANITY. I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND THAT THE WORLD DOESN'T REVOLVE AROUND YOU AND PLEASE ACT LIKE AN ADULT (READ: STOP DREAMING OF BECOMING A ROCK STAR AS YOU CAN'T SING THAT WELL, AND I DO NOT HAVE THE HEARTS  TO TELL YOU AT THE FACE  AS I THOUGHT YOU'LL COME TO REALISATION ONE DAY BUT SADLY NO) GIVEN THAT YOU HAVE BEEN LIVING A QUARTER OF A CENTURY ALREADY FOOL. I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE STILL A PR AS YOUR ENGLISH IS NOT  ONLY EXCRUCIATINGLY POOR BUT READING THEM IS ALREADY A PAIN TO PEOPLE'S EYES.

YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS FUCKING  UGLY LIKE A CINA AH-LIAN BUT SHE COMPLEMENTS YOU PERFECTLY AS YOU ARE ALSO AN AH BENG FROM A PUNY TOWN. I THOUGHT YOU COULD DO BETTER BUT TOO BAD  YOU ARE TOO FULL OF YOURSELF TO PICK UP POSSIBLE CUES GIVEN BY YOUR MATES OR YOUR LIFE.

YOUR LIFE IS JUST A RETARD.

bah

will be writing agian soon, hopefully.

been crafting too many publicity materials for my work, i just don't feel like writing anymore.

shouldn't make your hobby a profession, else you'll ended up losing a passion.

damn.

signed, sealed, yet to deliver

woot, flying off in July.

i am so very happy already. :D

suggestions on how to make yourself less lonely

hwei! says : i think am very lonely
YokeYee says: hmmm... find urself a hobby lar...
hwei! says: how can i de-lonelinize myself
YokeYee says: like collect stem ar... hehe watever that can make ur life to be more meaningful
YokeYee says: u got anything like to do ar?
hwei! says: what suggestions u hav ?
YokeYee says: COLLECT STEM.... COLLECT POKEMON CARD.... COLLECT GULI... COLLECT ERRRR WATEVER CAN COLLECT LAH!!!
hwei! says: i think i like to collect bfs
hwei! says: sometimes am just amaze of how your brain works
YokeYee says: hehe 我的爱好: 阅读, 收集邮票, 画画, 唱歌, 跳舞
YokeYee says: Y?? COS POKEMON CARD?
YokeYee says: bf cant collect many, cos u got only 1 hole
YokeYee says: ok
hwei! says: ahahahah...damn kau funny la u
YokeYee says: nanti lubang pecah die faster
hwei! says: am so fucking posting this thing man
YokeYee says: dun u har
YokeYee says:  i dun wan go massage with u
hwei! says: post already
YokeYee says: u post la post.. good food also cancel
hwei! says:  fucking make my day

it is just too hard..

to explain the words you didn't mean them.

to find someone to be there for you all the time.

to believe that promises are true.

i'll just die alone, most probably.

some said i am hit by quarter life crisis

i am the most boring person in the whole universe.

yes i am and this track record is almost unbeatable.

if Guinness World Records or Ripley's Believe or Not! ever recognise dullness as one of the human achievement or extreme, hell i will break the record like a flying kite.

favouritism

it shouldn't too obvious even everyone has their own preferences.

weird

it is just plain weird.

i've been having weird dreams associating with long forgotten people i barely give a flying kite.

it is just so weird that this fella just kept appearing in my dreams everyday doing and talking about weird things.

it is just so plain weird.

this is a plain weird entry.

sydney . st.mary cathedral

i'll see you, this winter?



st. mary cathedral from hyde park




i don't know architecture, what i can say is it is breathtakingly amazing




 
 carvings



 
trying to take an  artsy fartsy picture

hey look, i love to show you my drunk ass face!

life is painfully boring without stalking.

balls commented that i need to stop stalking people and find something better to do.

come to think about it, is it even my fault to make stalking my favourite time-passing activity. damn, everyone now is like an exhibitionist. the best thing is that these exhibitionists are not even close to an amateur, every single minute they are plotting the best ways to whore themselves, like:-


posting pictures of their drunk faces on facebook.
sharing updates like they bought a brand new bag,  pair of shoes, getting a new ink or some stupid conquest.
tweetering about the time they saw a cockroach beside their bed.
boasting about the amount of they spent on a dinner and heck, some even showed the receipt trying to prove to all of their friends that they can spend more than you can imagine.

not  to mention other random blogs sharing stories like how powerful their sexual partner can be and the number of times they had sex in one night. some even go to the extent elaborating the number of thrusts.


how can i not be fun stalking these exhibitionists screaming and moaning over their oh-big-deal-snippets of life? can you blame me for developing such an unhealthy liking given almost everyone around me are deliberately practicing this behaviour just to attract my attention?

afterall being graced with public attention is their ultimate purpose. i am just doing a kind act by showering these exhibitionists with tremendous interest.

sometimes i do feel that i am so lucky to live in this generation, with the existence of the internet. this just make stalking right.

boooooooooooo!

good news is, i am not dead.

i stop blogging because i've been religiously watching house whenever i have time.

damn, it is addictive.

in case you are wondering why am i still awake at this god damn hour.

yes, it is all house's fault.

i may be dead very soon

if there is no new entry up in the next three weeks, i may be dead.

or perhaps on the verge of barely surviving.

so everyone, you can make a difference by sending me a text message, or buzz me in msn, or the better, ask me out for breakfast / lunch  or dinner.

or if you really love me, you can schedule a massage session for me.

please do these before everything is too late.

bahhhh...

i am always making my own plans

my heart sinks whenever i heard statements like you could be happier if you were in other places.

i am jealous of how other people and places can make you happier. so bitter that the places and the people don't have to give up a single thing to fit in your future plans.

i would like to be part of the plan too, but i am always not in the picture.

would you include me when you are paving your own ways? i am willing to include you in many chapters of my life, if you ever want to?

firecrackers were banging sounds of prosperity outside my window marking the end of the chinese new year. i . should . be . in . the . cheerio . mood .like things always meant to.

i should be.

the amazing race asia 4 is driving me crazy!

ditto.

sky god prease prease give your blessing. me ah lian want this ploglamme to run well.

tenkyu.

i am celebrating valentine' s day, birthday and chinese new year all together this year

I CAN'T WAIT TO GET MY HANDS ON YOU AND MY PAIR OF SLIPPERS AH!!! 

FOR THOSE WHO ARE STILL THINKING OF WHAT PRESENT YOU SHOULD BUY FOR ME. 

SIMPLE. JUST GET ME A SET OF SKII TO MAKE SURE THAT MY SKIN IS STILL AS SMOOTH AS VSII AFTER I HAVE BEEN LIVING A QUARTER OF A CENTURY.

THANK YOU.

i slept too early and am now awake at this ungodly hour

bah, the lesson is not to sleep too early. 

xxxxxxxxxxx

Hi Hwei,

I am delighted to let you know that your submitted photo
has been selected for inclusion in the newly released tenth
edition of our Schmap Sydney Guide:

Sydney Fish Market
http://www.schmap.com/sydney/tours_tour3/p=43141/i=43141_70.jpg

If you use an iPhone or iPod touch, then this same link
will take you directly to your photo in the iPhone version
of our guide. On a desktop computer, you can still see
exactly how your photo is displayed and credited in the
iPhone version of our guide at:

Sydney Fish Market
http://www.schmap.com/?m=iphone#uid=sydney&sid=tours_tour3&p=43141&i=43141_70

Thanks so much for letting us include your photo - please
enjoy the guide!

Best regards,

Fiona S. Hughes
Editor, Schmap Guides


xxxxxxxx

hi fiona, i am delighted too!

however, i am still in the midst of wondering of all the photos i posted, why on earth they chose this. if you look closely to it, there are rain beads on the windscreen and a super obvious road tax.

hope the travellers won't be cursing at my photo while they are schmaping for fish market.well well, blame the rainy days  not me!

looking at this photo makes me miss sydney, cold rocks, the super huge fish balls, the ever fresh salmon and trunky more.  can't wait to go back again.

bah, i hope i can continue my sleep.

oh well, it's not that bad after all

things went out of hand a week ago. the expectation and neediness for affection, also the urge to make things right crumbled my defense system. like a total crash.

i was a goner, physically and mentally.

oh well, at least i am alright now.just like a cliche. i guess you have to go through a series of gruesome torments in order to recognise what you nearly missed. can't say i am totally tame with what i have now, at least the situation is getting better.

on another note, i had my appraisal today. the package balls offered me was a good one. i am fairly happy with it, especially with the long holidays i will be having in july. hope that i don't have to sell my soul over the entitlements i settled with. come to think about it, i would actually sell my soul for the benefits i am entitled with.

ok. until the next time. thank you. bye.

i am thinking hard

that some day i want to go back to studies.

i am really missing the days where i can skip any classes whenever the weather is shitty, i am feeling sleepy or i am physically and mentally deranged.

i think the thing that i missed the most was the long night crappy chats, the porn sessions and the serious talks on our unweavering dreams.

i miss everything when i was in uni when i can't live like any now.

i miss my life, back then.

now you can whore yourself to the ultimate level

i am no pro, but  i can't stand photos which are:-


BLUR
PIXELISE
OUT OF FOCUS
EVERY PHOTO ON THEMSELVES INSTEAD OF THE SCENERY


for eff sake,  you can find all these photos in facebook.

last year . spring . QVB

will be uploading more photos in my blog. don't really want to turn my whining channel into a pictorial blog, but my free flickr account is hitting its limit for 200 photos.

in another word, only my recent uploaded photos will be displayed and my older photos no longer appears in my photostream. however, i get to know that the old photos uploaded in my blog, yet not showing in the stream, will still work fine here. oh well, at least i can flip through my older entries to look at my masterpieces. i can live with that.

don't ask me to upgrade my flickr account to pro. it costs USD24 per year and i am not even close to a pro to own a pro account. wtf.

some shots on QVB i took last year. you ask if i miss the place, maybe. i think its the people i miss the most.

nevertheless, QVB is a magnificent piece of architecture. can't say it is the most beautiful shopping centre in the world, since i have only been to couple of places thus far. hopefully one day, after i've done wandering around wonderful attractions in the world, i can tell you this.




shot this while i was waiting for the bus.




dusk, QVB and bus.

doggie thingamajigy!

my biggest hobby is to pester doggie. :D



showing innocent face




24-7 innocent face




doggie's new found hobby - waiting for cats to walk pass.




gan cheung already. don't know what she spotted.




caption is lame.




doggie is definitely not a cam-whore material.

hello i am emma williams, the managing director of Schmap Guides, and i can make you happy

This is awesome possum amidst all the glooms!

Never thought my very powderful nevertheless i am proud of photographs would be shortlisted for inclusion in the tenth edition of the Schmap Sydney Guide.


xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


Hi Hwei,

I am writing to let you know that one of your photos has been short-listed for inclusion in the tenth edition of our Schmap Sydney Guide, to be published late January 2010.

www.schmap.com/shortlist/p=16951952N02/c=SN50012003

Clicking this link will take you to a page where you can:
i) See which of your photos has been short-listed.
ii) Submit or withdraw your photo from our final selection phase.
iii) Learn how we credit photos in our Schmap Guides.
iv) Browse online or download the ninth edition of our Schmap Sydney Guide.

While we offer no payment for publication, many photographers are pleased to submit their photos, as Schmap Guides give their work recognition and wide exposure, and are free of charge to readers. Photos are published at a maximum width of 150 pixels, are clearly attributed, and link to high-resolution originals at Flickr.

Our submission deadline is Friday, January 8. If you happen to be reading this message after this date, please still click on the link above (our Schmap Guides are updated frequently - photos submitted after this deadline will be considered for later releases).

Best regards,

Emma Williams,
Managing Editor, Schmap Guides
www.schmap.me/emma.j.williams



xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

and this is the shortlisted photo!





Now suddenly i am so happy already. :D

insanity

cornered. like i have left no choice at all.

am in the brink of losing my sanity.