the equation doesn't seem right

i dread being alone.

yet, i've already been alone for two years.

let me whine before the year ends

my mood swings hopelessly whenever festivals arrive.

christmas, new year, birthday, valentine's day. you name it and i hate it.

though i have vigorously tried to convince myself that these festivals are just like any other ordinary days, still, deep down they annoy the shit out of me and even irritates me one week before the day comes.

if you need me to tell you the specific, exactly when did i harbour such annoyance for the spirit of celebrations, so that you can honour me as the miserable festives bummer. i would say since i am a teenager. i am a teenager with lots of angst and i despised festives. now i simply hate festive seasons because this land is crowded with hundreds of people in one square foot everywhere whenever there are celebrations.

everyone are so in the mood of celebration though the festives are not meant for them to commemorate. people party from dawn to dusk as if the world dooms after christmas and new year.

so, this year, in the last couple of days before i turn 25, i decided to sort out my angst and hatred towards festive seasons, so that i would not become a pathetic old lady whining how fuck up life could be whenever christmas/new year/valentine's day or whatever is approaching.

i thought hard.

yet sadly, i still couldn't figure out why.

guess i will end up being a pathetic old lady giving you a stone face whenever you ask me out to celebrate.

but please don't ditch me though i may be hard to entertain.

i am still good when there's no festive season around. you all know i am afraid of being alone all the time.

last year . this moment

last year, this moment,

i fell in love with a grumpy guy.

today,

i am still in love.

happy anniversary, trunky.

:D

:D

I AM SUPER DUPER GIGA TERA HAPPY ALREADY.

its Q&A time again

Q) its year-end, do you have any holiday plans in your mind? oh my god, you are going m.i.a again?
A) yes baby. yes.


Q) what plans exactly?
A) i don't know. i may pop out unexpectedly when you aren't expecting me at all. merry christmas and happy new year everyone!


Q) m.i.a for how long?
A) let me see how long i can go.


Q) let's do a wrap up for this year. are you doing great this year?
A) not that bad. earn a couple, learn a lot, lost some.


Q) can i conclude that you are quite happy this year?
A) oh boy, i am beyond heaven!


Q) tell us the most happiest incident happened this year?
A) watched series of american dad with trunky. simply blissful.


Q) do you feel blessed?
A) yes indeed. with great friends, good colleagues, super lover, incredible parents and an awesome half mother. :D


Q) tell us a particular day you jumped in joy?
A) when i got my baby viva. wtf5183.


Q) tell us a particular day you felt like banging your head to the wall?
A) when i dented my baby. i feel like crap and just wanted to bomb my office building.


Q) how you got over it?
A) i told my baby, its ok. a little scratch will make you look more brutal. i will paint you in black soon. hush baby, hush.


Q) anyone you wish to fire he/she up?
A) just a little bit. was angry and upset, but got over after a while. can't be bothered for petty matters like this.


Q) any wish list?
A) dear god, i will be extremely good next year. can you please spare me your mercy, drop me some money, a watch, a handbag, plentiful of clothes and more time with trunky, thank you. yes, i am shallow.


Q) why are you asking and answering all the questions by yourself?
A) i don't know. i think because i like to talk to myself.


Q) what is your feeling at this moment?
A) i should get nasi lemak for breakfast tomorrow.

should i or should i not

was contemplating whether i should do this or not.

i suck big time at handicraft.

what if it looks like a piece of shit.

what if its too heavy to carry back.

should i or should i not.

who is your bff?

i've been pondering after i read pariah 3's entry on bff. what's twirling in my mind is that what are the criteria to become my bff.

i think deep, and i thought hard. finally i have a perfect candidate who is so irreplaceable, that no one else in the world can understand me better than he/she does.

for he/she knows the right time to shut up when i am not in the mood.

for he/she pops out of no where and gives me whole lots of surprises. he/she knows i love surprises.

for he/she ignores me when i am talking crap.

for he/she understands there are times i need to be alone.

for he/she accepts my mistakes and flaws because he/she knows no human being in this world is perfect.

for he/she would not condemn me even if i pair my flip flops with proper attire.

for he/she showers me with admiration and love because i am an attention whore, sometimes.

not any one in the world can read me better then he/she does.

my bff is a shy and low profile person. he/she refused to post for me. i've only managed to capture part of his/her look before he/she run off.




everybody, meet bluey anonymous.




i am so sorry. i have no idea you are a male or female, but we are still best friends right?


don't judge. human beings are too superficial and judgmental that is why there's no best friend forever between us, the same species.

this year . one season . coogee beach

for once i decided not to contaminate pictures i took with my crappy comments.

coogee is just so beautiful.

too beautiful, that i can't stop myself falling in love again and again with this place.

this year . all seasons . this chapter

yeap. loving every lines of this chapter.

the rocks puppet cottage

when i was a child, i'd always think that puppets are scary. some of them look so real that i believe they may come alive at night, sneaking underneath your bed looking at you while you are asleep.

i bumped into a puppet shop one day while i was lurking in The Rocks. walking in the small basement shop which boasts over thousands of puppets is akin to breaking into a time capsule. you may see puppets aged more than 150 years old, that's even older than your grandmother.

i like the experience of strolling in the puppet land. i can tell that this place will be a party at night, when all the puppets revive.

yes, i still believe they will come alive at night.



the puppet cottage at the rocks



her porcelain skin looks so real and she looks so stuck up too



party crowd!


i don't like clowns too

hello, my name is bitch and i won't shut my mouth until you think i am right

some people are just uber funny.

i don't know about you or others, maybe it is just me. i just can't stand people whose constantly wanting to win in order to make themselves look good at any single minute, or shall i say, even every nano second if you want me to count it precisely.

like this is not bad enough, they like to put words in your mouth. as though they read your thoughts and they can phrase it better than you do. but what irk me the most is, they think you owe them big time because they did the talking for you. Generally, they talk faster than you do, judging people in the speed of light and always thought that the whole world besides themselves lives in misery.

yes. i am talking about you. funny enough, i believe there are species like you lurking everywhere to abuse anyone they meet.

so you think i sulk every day after leaving pure hell? or, i should be missing the moments when i was trying so very hard not to lose myself to punch you in the face? the most absurd remark you ever said was that i am now trying hard to keep my current job though i dislike the place so much? so your conclusion is, i could have been happy and contented if i just didn't quit?

seriously wtf, this must be the joke of the year.

the only thing i ever regretted was that i didn't sew kau your lips when i have the chance. bitch.