let me whine before the year ends

my mood swings hopelessly whenever festivals arrive.

christmas, new year, birthday, valentine's day. you name it and i hate it.

though i have vigorously tried to convince myself that these festivals are just like any other ordinary days, still, deep down they annoy the shit out of me and even irritates me one week before the day comes.

if you need me to tell you the specific, exactly when did i harbour such annoyance for the spirit of celebrations, so that you can honour me as the miserable festives bummer. i would say since i am a teenager. i am a teenager with lots of angst and i despised festives. now i simply hate festive seasons because this land is crowded with hundreds of people in one square foot everywhere whenever there are celebrations.

everyone are so in the mood of celebration though the festives are not meant for them to commemorate. people party from dawn to dusk as if the world dooms after christmas and new year.

so, this year, in the last couple of days before i turn 25, i decided to sort out my angst and hatred towards festive seasons, so that i would not become a pathetic old lady whining how fuck up life could be whenever christmas/new year/valentine's day or whatever is approaching.

i thought hard.

yet sadly, i still couldn't figure out why.

guess i will end up being a pathetic old lady giving you a stone face whenever you ask me out to celebrate.

but please don't ditch me though i may be hard to entertain.

i am still good when there's no festive season around. you all know i am afraid of being alone all the time.